A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Bee, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cel phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Bee was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Bee went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Bee," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Bee replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."! "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Posted by mingsworld.com ::
1:02 AM ::
0 Comments:
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her.
After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was delighted to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."
Posted by mingsworld.com ::
11:04 PM ::
0 Comments:
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER IN DRIVE BY SHOOTING (The actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to her car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay. Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head during a drive by shooting, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back! of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gun shot and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She had initially passed out, but quickly re-covered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
And yes, Linda is a blonde.
Posted by mingsworld.com ::
10:57 PM ::
0 Comments:
A Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a Great Dane found themselves in the waiting room at the veterinary office.
Spaniel to the Poodle: "Why are you in here?" Poodle: "Well, I peed in the house one too many times, and my owners have decided it was time to put me to sleep.
Why are you here?" Spaniel: "I've got a very bad temper, and I the other day I bit two of the neighbor's kids. So, my owners are having me put to sleep too." He turns to the Great Dane and asks,
"Why are you here?" Great Dane: "Well my owner is a beautiful blonde who walks around the house all day in the nude. Yesterday I couldn't take it any more and when she was on her knees doing something on the floor, I mounted her."
Spanial: "So, why are you here?" Great Dane: "I have to get my nails clipped."
Posted by mingsworld.com ::
10:49 PM ::
0 Comments:
Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the football experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:
Scroll down...
'Get the quarterback!' 'Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
Love is above all,the gift of oneself.
Posted by mingsworld.com ::
10:41 PM ::
0 Comments:
